The Hotline: Is He the One? Dating Again, Mom Boundaries & Bravo 101

The hotline is open - and we have a lot to discuss! This week, I’m catching you up on Off Campus and everything else on my screen before diving into your questions. How do you start dating again after a long-term relationship? How do you know when someone is “the one”? Which relationship green flags actually matter? Plus, setting boundaries as a stay-at-home mom, trusting your instincts in new motherhood, and the only acceptable places to begin your Bravo education.

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Transcript

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Hello, hello. Welcome into Hey Hannah. Happy Wednesday. Oh, and happy August. That's a fun thing to report. Time is flying. I feel like every old person in the world when I talk about how fast the year is moving, but alas, it is moving rather quickly. I said last week that I feel like August just means back to school because that's what it means in Florida. But thank goodness here in the Midwest. It means that those hot summer days are still upon us. But you know what we have to look forward to in August? NFL season. We got some preseason games. I am so excited for them. There's nothing better than a Sunday in the fall when you have the windows open, you have that NFL sound in the background, that dun dun dun dun, a fresh baked good in the oven. Depending on where you are in the country, you either have a little hot coffee or you have a chili on, you know, different times of the day, different games. My whole life growing up on the East Coast, games are at one o'clock. Now here in the Midwest, games are at 12 o'clock. Throws me off. I still will be like, oh, is it a one o'clock game or a four o'clock game? And people are like, I don't know what you're talking about. That being said, very excited for some NFL games and those first crisp, cool days. And August in general. It's gonna be a good month, guys. I can feel it. I say this every month, but whoo. Okay, another thing we talk about every month is some hotline question and answers. I love doing this because I love hearing from you guys. A, I always want to hear what people are watching on TV. And can you believe it? I got zero TV questions this week. So I'm gonna go ahead and talk about it because I want to, okay? Um, I have not finished off campus, but boy am I close. And I feel like I should get some sort of reward for that because I'm very late, like very late to the game here. You guys have been talking about off campus for so long. I'm finally almost all caught up. And I was talking to one of my best friends about this because she's also watching it right now. Her and I grew up watching the OC. I think the OC is prime time teen drama. Now, off campus is supposed to be a teen drama, but I know that they're in college and the OC was in high school. My brain just compares everything to the OC when it comes to teen dramas. I did the same thing when I watched The Summer I Turned Pretty. Whatever. Nevertheless, I'm really enjoying off campus, except for the fact that, and I'm sorry, old lady alert, a teeny bit too sexual for me. Just a teeny bit too sexual for me. I'm a prude. I'm just a prude when I watch TV. I am so used to things being on cable. It's just the way we were raised. You couldn't curse. There couldn't be too much sex on cable. Like it's just how it was. And now that everything is streaming, it's like the wild, wild west out there. You have no idea what scenes you're about to watch. Most of the time, you have no idea how far a scene is really gonna take it. You know what I mean? So did I watch most of off campus? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Yes. Was I fearful that my husband was gonna walk in the door while I was watching it and he was gonna judge me immensely? Also, yes. Now, pulling the lens back and being like, okay, Hannah, stop being a prude and just like watch the TV show and appreciate it. It's super cute. It's a cute little love story. It is so unbelievable and like unrealistic, but that's just how all of these shows are, and that's okay. I've accepted it. The reason I brought up talking to my best friend about this is because she was saying all of the sex is normal because it's college and that's what's happening in college. To me, I guess I wasn't like thinking all of these things in college, and I wasn't I literally like can't even talk about it. It just like wasn't that way in college. I was just about to say a sentence where I was like, ew, uh I can't, I can't do it. So um I yeah, to me, it wasn't realistic of a college experience, but that's besides the point. The two main characters are super cute, super likable. It's insane to me that she's this sort of like quiet wallflower because she's so gorgeous and is so clearly someone that guys would be obsessed with, and she's supposed to be this like unsuspecting girl. I'm just like, I'm not buying it. But yeah, it's cute and I will finish it. I feel like I got through the worst of it when it came to all of the R-rated stuff. So I'm happy to just continue on. I've heard that the finale gets really, really cute. So I'm excited to watch that. There's performance, there's a whole thing. I already know about it. So looking forward to that. I would give it about a B rating, though, because it's one of those shows I'm half watching the entire time. Like if I miss a whole scene, if I run to the bathroom, if I'm going to change the baby, I'm not pausing it. Let's just be honest. Oh, I also watched Devil Wears Prada 2. And I just think Anne Hathaway is doing so well in life right now. I can't believe she's pregnant at 43. It's so exciting that she's pregnant with her third baby right now. She's having a year. She's in that movie. Everybody's talking about the Odyssey. I need to go see that movie. It's hard to see a movie when you have a newborn. It's quite frankly impossible. Especially an exclusively breastfed baby, which, by the way, let me remind you, is an accident. I never intended to exclusively breastfeed. My baby just won't take a bottle, okay? Anyways, I really want to go see the Odyssey. I also really wanted to go see Toy Story 5, but again, not gonna happen. Back to Devil Wars Prada 2. Because this is the world I live in where I just wait till something appears on streaming. I thought it was a really fun watch. Peter and I both watched it together. He didn't remember the first one, so he was sort of confused. But Meryl Streep is so fun to watch in that role. She weirdly was reminding me of Chris Jenner the whole time. I don't know if it was the haircut and just the iconicness about her, but I was feeling Chris Jenner vibes. But I thought it was so worth watching, especially if you loved the original. It was like a fun reunion type thing to watch, but I did not feel the vibes of it being like another classic. And I think that's always the case for the second movie. It was a cute homey feeling to see the whole past back together. Emily Blunt, Anne Hathaway, Stanley Tucci. Oh my gosh, he's truly the most fun to watch in that role. Stanley Tucci and Meryl Streep, I could watch all day. Emily Blunt, a little bit of an annoying character, but again, fun to see everyone come back again, the gang back together. I thought that the plot fell a little short. It was fun, comforting, watchable, all that stuff. But like there were parts of the plot where I was like, wait, why is she doing this? Well, who is she calling? Like, there were certain things where I was like, I don't understand what's happening. It didn't give me that like bite of depth in the plot, but it was a fun watch. The fashion was great. There were some really fun cameos. Another thing I noticed, and this is just like, okay, TikTok talks about the Netflix lens, right? Everything that you watch now has a Netflix lens, and people don't like it. And I agree. It reminds me of the same lens that Hallmark has. It seems like it's just the way that things are filmed now. It's so crisp and clear, and everything looks almost too colorful and too animated, too clean-cut. I can't really describe it. It's like the ultra high resolution sensors and the crazy digital lighting. It just makes everything look different. Whereas when you would watch a movie from the 90s or early 2000s, and obviously anytime before then, it looks like a different cinematic experience with everything you're watching, right? So I felt a little bit of the Netflix lens with this movie. And I think you could expect that, especially from a sequel. You know, they're always trying to make it as like big and flashy as possible when it actually just looks a little more like everything else. I don't know. I don't know how to explain how I feel about that. But I also noticed the product placement. That's another thing that's happening in all of these Netflix lens movies, is that like Peter and I are watching it. I'm like, oh, Pepsi sponsored that. Oh, Cheerio sponsored that. What was the other one? Oh, Starbucks. Oh my gosh. It made sense to me because in the first movie there was a big plot about Anne Hathaway's character having to go get coffee for Miranda Priesty all the time. But there was just a lot of Starbucks talk, a lot of Starbucks cups. And then I felt like half of the thing was sponsored by Dior because that was a major plot, which that was fun to see. Okay, anyways, enough about my Devil Wears Product 2 reaction. I definitely recommend it if you guys just want like a cozy, comforting vibe. But yeah, the plot was not amazing. A show that I have been meeting to get into is Windows Bay. I've heard a few people talk about it. I know it's on Apple TV. I've heard it's a little spooky, so I don't know if I can do it. But if anyone's watched it, let me know what you recommend. I think that's what I'm gonna try to get into. Okay, I feel like I've talked a fair amount about TV now. Let's dive into some of the questions that you guys had from the hotline. I don't know why I call it that. It's just like sort of fun and it sounds good with hey, Hannah. It sounds ridiculous. These are the questions that you guys DM'd me. That's the truth. Okay. All right, someone asked me, I'm a stay-at-home mom. I get asked for a lot of favors from working moms friends to help with childcare. Uh okay, there's no real question there. But um, that's a crime, a true crime. Ugh, I don't even know where to begin with this. What the heck do you say? Are these friends asking because they need someone all the time? Or is it like a shoot, I'm in a bind. I have to run to the hospital because of X, Y, and Z. Because, you know, sometimes life happens and you have to boogie really quickly and you don't know what to do with your kid. That's one thing. Like them calling you because they need something for that is one thing. But if they're planning their whole day and thinking, oh, I know so-and-so is free. Let me just see if she can watch the kids for a few hours while I'll go get a pedicure. That's a different story. I would be pissed. You have to just be honest with them and tell them you can't do it. I say that knowing full well I would have the hardest time being honest. Another layer to this is that maybe you're picking up kids from school when you're picking your kids up from school and you're dropping them off. I understand that. My mom did a little bit of that. My mom always worked part-time and she took care of my cousin, but it was like we all went to school together and my cousin just came home and hung out with us. I don't know. Just like being a stay-at-home mom does not mean that you're available during the day, period. End of story. I know you don't have a traditional work schedule and you're not clocking in nine to five, but you have a full-time responsibility. And adding someone else's child to your day screws up everything that you're doing with your baby schedule, your kids' naps, your errands, and your, you know, already restricted downtime. In theory, I want to be like, yeah, you should tell them that you can't do this and like set the boundary and da-da-da-da-da. But I have to think about what I would actually do. And I think what I would actually do is just keep telling them no for whatever reason for that specific time. Like, hey, I'm so sorry. I actually can't help that day. I have X, Y, and Z going on. And then like another thing pops up. Hey, so sorry, I can't this day. It's a priority for me that we do this and I'm not gonna be able to stretch to do this. And then hopefully they'll get the hint. But like, I really hope for your sake that this friendship feels balanced, like a bit reciprocal. You know what I mean? Friends should be helping each other out. We really should. I have a circle of girlfriends who I really consider like family. And if this was any of them, I wouldn't hesitate. I wouldn't hesitate and I would do it. And if it got to be too much, I would just flat out be like, hey, I can't keep doing this for you. I love you, but this is too much. Um, whereas it's tough when it's those people who don't feel like direct family. You feel like you have to be really polite and just handle it a different way. But it's tough because you do not want to become resentful. So yeah, maybe just talk about how your day is actually really full and you're not able to stretch that or you're not able to flex to do that. Just remember, note to self, remember that caring for your own child slash children is enough. You don't need to be guilted into doing a bunch of other stuff for a bunch of other people because they're doing quote unquote more than you. Everyone has their own shoes to shine, everybody has their own mess to clean up all the time. And just because you're not clocking in doesn't mean that you don't feel the stress of day to day. Now, I have so much respect for both stay-at-home moms and working moms. And I'm not just saying that to be politically correct. I think seasons change and life is long. And moms find themselves in a lot of different positions throughout life. Some part-time, some full-time, some not working at all. And every mom can level with the other, you know? If you look at your own home and then look down the barrel of another option, it's really tough no matter which way you spin it. So, like, ugh. I just want to tell this person to like give grace and remember that you're also doing your best in a season that's not quote unquote easier because you are home. I hope that was okay advice. You didn't even ask me your question, and I like fully went off on that. Okay, next question. Just getting out of a six-year relationship. How do I re-enter the dating world? Ooh. Well, congratulations. Welcome back. I'm saying congratulations because clearly you made the decision and you're back on your own. And it's always better to be fully single than to be in a relationship that's not working. Peter and I were just talking about how we both are so grateful for the years that we had working on ourselves and just being single, dating, seeing what's out there before we found each other. But obviously, I still understand that getting out of a six-year relationship is really, really, really freaking difficult. So kudos to you for even wanting to get back out there and re-entering dating. Um, the hard part is there's no direct advice I can give you in terms of how to start dating because everybody is so different. And I think the best thing you can do is go with your gut. If you want to be on the apps, go for it. Go on all of them, message everyone, all of that. But if you are really not feeling the apps and you just don't want to be there and you're not ready for it yet, there's also space to just not be on the apps and to truly try to meet people in the wild. The one piece of advice I'm going to tell you though is to lead everything you do with confidence, even if it's a fake confidence, and I mean socially. You walk into a room, don't be on your phone, don't have your head down. Keep your head up high, shoulders back, wear your outfit proudly, wear your smile proudly, like all of that. Just like walk with a confidence. Because I'm telling you, that will get you noticed. You're gonna feel better about yourself when you do that. That was one thing I was so big on when I was dating is I had a rule that anytime I walked into a room, sat down at a table, anything like that, especially when I was alone waiting for a date, or if I was meeting friends at a bar, just don't be on your phone, period. This is basically my advice. Go do things by yourself. If you have plans to meet a friend for a drink, get there a little bit earlier. Cozy up to the bar, get a drink by yourself, and don't be on your phone. Look around, talk to the bartender, take a lap around the restaurant, enjoy yourself, enjoy your own company. It'll help with your confidence. It'll help with honestly everything. I look back on those days and I'm like, oh, those days were so good for me to just take myself out. There were plenty of times where I would just take myself out and go. I mean, I lived in New York, so it was so easy to do this, but there were plenty of times where I just went to a restaurant by myself or went to a bar by myself. Now, a bar could sometimes feel weird, but as long as you are open to talking to people near you, it's totally okay. I always prefer to just order a meal. I'm not a big drinker, anyways. So I would go to a bar and get a meal, and then you could talk to the people around you. Or you have a book, like there's other options. I just would not be on your phone. But yeah, going back to what I originally started with, apps or no apps. It is so personal. I have friends who swear by them and I have friends who don't ever want to use them. And I think you have to go with your gut on that. And it might mean doing something you're a little uncomfortable with. I swore off the apps for a long time. I was like, I live in New York City, I gotta meet a man in the wild. How could I not? And after years of not being on them, I was like, you know what? Let me just try it again. I went on the stupidest app in the world, Raya. I was, I've been sort of grandfathered into that app for so many years. I just like reopened my account in two seconds, didn't change a thing on my profile. And 48 hours later, I met Peter. So truly be able to shift and change, be able to be a little uncomfortable and ultimately go with your gut. I think it's the best time to go back to like enjoying your own company and doing things for you and romanticizing your own life. Go out to eat, go get your favorite meal by yourself, go get ice cream, go get coffee, find a routine, a social routine that works for you, try a new gym, anything like that that'll get you a little bit out of your comfort zone, but that will have you enjoying your own time a little bit more. Okay, next question. Um, Wisconsin's summer favorites, obviously the farmer's market. Duh. My favorite. We haven't been in a few weeks. I have to go back, but I would go to the farmer's market on the square every day if I could. Truly. It's my favorite thing. I love to get a little sample. That's really my favorite thing in the summer. I used to go to concerts on the square, but now having a baby, that's just like prime time bedtime, you know? So I don't go. I don't know the rest of my favorites in Wisconsin. It's hard because I feel like I haven't fully embraced summer right now, having a newborn. I would also just say walking in any of the parks here. Peter and I dabble with the idea of moving out of Wisconsin. And we always say the one thing we would really, really miss is all of the nature walks here. In every suburb of Madison, you can find a really cool woodsy park to walk in and spend an entire afternoon. To me, that's so cool. That's something Florida never had, and especially New York City. Okay, next question. Um, biggest piece of advice for new moms, fellow first-time mom here. Oh gosh. Um biggest piece of advice for moms. Where do I begin? So the best piece of advice I ever received before I became a mom, I was at my baby shower and one of my very dear friends, we met in preschool. Um, and we were best, best childhood friends. She had a beautiful baby girl right before me, like a year before me. Her name is Julie. Julie said, Hannah, I'm gonna tell you one thing. Do not listen to what anybody tells you. Listen to yourself only. And there's something about like a childhood friend telling you that. I took it as Bible, and I'm so happy I did because there's moments where even my mom, even Peter, will tell me something. I think X, Y, and Z about Andy. And I have this little thing in the back of my head that's like, no, that's not it. I know it's this. 99.9% of the time, I'm right. There really is such a thing with like a mommy instinct. So that's my biggest piece of advice is to listen to your gut more than anything else. Like down to anything. I mean, I remember I took a photo in of the baby in a certain sleep suit that I was using. I was using the Magic Merlin sleep suit. And my cousin told me, Hey, by the way, there's a lot of bad reviews about that. Like you should probably not use that. And I was like, no, it's fine. I know it's fine. She's since grown out of it, but she had a wonderful time in that sleep suit. She loved it and it worked for us. There's gonna be things that work for your home that don't work for people very close to you and their home. And it's not a matter of comparison. It's just, you know, everyone has a different flow of things. And for some reason, everyone loves to yuck everyone's yums in early motherhood. And probably all motherhood. I've just only experienced the earliest days. So, yes, my biggest piece of advice, do whatever you think is best for your family. And then honestly, my second piece of advice is to give yourself grace. Like you give everyone grace as a mom. Everyone comes before you. The baby comes before you, the baby's needs come before you, the baby's everything comes before you. And if you're anything like me, you find yourself being the caretaker for everything. Like you just want everything to be perfect all the time. People want to come see the baby, you want the house to be great, you want to have food on the table for people, people want to come visit, you want to do X, Y, and Z for them. It never ends. And I would say give yourself grace. Let yourself take a few L's. And I'm talking about your mistakes and your rewards. Like let yourself mess up. Yourself get upset and then let yourself treat yourself. Wow. Was that English? But basically, what I'm saying is don't be afraid to treat yourself. And I don't even mean in terms of tangible things. Sometimes it's just time. Give yourself time to rest, give yourself time to get out of bed sometimes. Things like that. Just give yourself grace. There's so many days in the early offs, and I'm still in it where I'm like, what the heck did I do today? Like, really? What did I accomplish? And it's like, no, you kept a human alive. So that's that's it. That's all you needed to do, actually. And everything else that you thought you needed to do is not as important as that. So that's what I mean with like cut yourself some slack, zoom out and remind yourself that this is just a season and it'll be gone before you know it. I have had to remind myself that every day. I still am in the thick of it. And I'm still reminding myself to pause and enjoy and relax and give myself a little bit of grace because they're never going to be this small again. And all these little day-to-day battles you're fighting will be fleeting, you know? Okay, next question. How do you know when someone is the one? Wow, this is a loaded question. First of all, I hate to even say this, but the concept of the one has always stressed me out. I think it's because I'm a child of divorce. And I've I've seen my parents very much in love. And then I've seen them very much in love in their second relationships, like their second devoted partnerships, you know? And I'm just gonna bypass that part because I can get totally into that and I don't need to get into the weeds of that ridiculous nuance part of this question. The real question is how do you know when someone's the one? Like, how do you know if someone is the right fit for you? Is how I read that. This is so cliche. And I hated when people said this. But it should be easy. Done. End of story. It should be easy. There were so many situationships I was in, so many legitimate relationships my husband was in before he met me. Him and I talk about this. We still talk so much about our dating life before we met because we both, in very separate ways, were trying to make these things work with people. And it was always difficult. It was always like pulling teeth to get these people to respond in a way that felt organic and healthy. So it should be easy. It should be like if the minute you're thinking about what you're texting and worrying about how it sounds, and I don't want to text him first because he should text me first. And I'm thinking about him, but I'm not gonna text him because I don't want him to da da da da. That whole thing goes out the window when it's the right person. Like you text someone you want, and I'm a firm believer at texting a guy when you're thinking about him. The minute there is any sort of game playing happening in your mind, like, oh, I'm gonna do this so I can get them to do that type thing, you know, the chess pieces. It's not it. It shouldn't be it. It should really be such an organic, easy, happy feeling. So I would say that. Number one, again, so annoying. I used to just be like, oh, everybody says it's easy. Like, when am I gonna get easy? It was easy, it's hard to find. That would be my first answer. Um, gosh, and when I think about this deeper, I have a few answers to this. One thing I tell my girlfriends about what helped me decipher like the fact that Peter was different. Cause it's hard. If you were anything like me, dating into your 30s, well into your 30s, Peter was my first serious relationship. I had my guard up. I just like never expected it to work or, you know, never expected it to be the thing that it is now when I first met him. And one of the things that really spoke to me in hindsight was how my body reacted. And this is a weird thing to say, but I really felt like my body knew I could relax around him before I did. Like my mind was ready to be in the sort of fight or flight that I had been in so many times before. Whereas my body was just relaxing around him. Like there was an ease physically that took me a minute to check on, like because my brain was still moving a million miles a minute. I can give you an example when this dawned on me. It was one of the times Peter came to visit me in New York City. It was a really hot day. We had like gone walking and, you know, spent the day out. And when we got back to my apartment, we were both just like lounging on the couch, cuddling a little bit, whatever. I fell asleep. I completely fell asleep. Mind you, it was in the middle of the day. I was a little bit sticky. I have no AC in my apartment. Like it's like, you know, one of those window units. It's not necessarily like a cool, breezy place to fall asleep. A crappy West Village apartment in the summer is just that. A crappy West Village apartment. It's like sticky and humid and like blah. So knowing that I had just walked, I was smelly, sweaty, and then I'm cozy on the couch with my, you know, my silly little AC unit on high, trying its best. And then I fell asleep. To me, that was the most out of character thing that could have happened. Only because like I never fall asleep. I'm not one of those people that falls asleep anywhere. I actually cannot. And the fact that my body relaxed so quickly around him, it dawned on me later. I was like, wow, I can't believe I fell asleep on the couch. That was so strange. I must have been really tired. In the moment, I was like, wow, that was so strange that I fell asleep on the couch. I can't believe I did that. I must have been really tired. And then later, when I really was thinking about it, I was able to clock it as like, oh, my body was able to just relax. There was an ease around him physically from the beginning that I didn't notice before, and it wasn't forced. I don't know. That probably sounds crazy, but I tell my friends that story sometimes just to remind them that, like, you will know. It will not pass you by. That's another thing to remember. There's a lot of pressure on knowing. How do I know if he's the one for me? How do I know if he's the one for me? Just trust that you'll know. You'll eventually have some other weird story like I just did, telling your friends about it. And that's going to be your signal on how you knew, but you will know. It will not pass you by. I always think that way. Everyone has a story or a reason on why they knew and why it's like, oh, I had a dream and they did like everyone has a thing. Your thing could totally be different. I do think easiness should be there, but like your little ism where you're like, oh, I knew it then in that moment. You're just gonna know and it will not pass you. If you remember anything, remember that. That just to trust yourself and know that you will know. It is such a thing, though, when you are in the beginning stages of a relationship where you are questioning every move they make because you're like, is this it? Is this the guy? And there were so many little things that Peter did that I was like, is that what I do? Can I do this? Like you sort of have that question in your brain every time they do anything because you're like, could I live with that? Could I do that? Could I see him in my future? Could I marry him? And I was someone who anyone that I was dating or trying to date, whatever, it never worked out. But like anyone I was crushing on, period, was somebody that I saw as a potential spouse. I was never dating for fun. I was only dating for intention. So I was always asking myself those questions like, can this person be a good dad? Like it's a lot of pressure to put on a random guy sometimes. But there's a that's why I say there are a million different ways that you will feel like you know. Okay. It will not pass you by. Anyways, okay. Wow, that was a really long-winded way to answer that question. Holy heck. Um, okay, a few more. Um, are you going to see the new Bills Stadium? So funny. I so funny that I started talking about football at the top of this episode. Wow, I was just about to answer this question so confidently, being like, why yes I am. But no, I'm not. It's so hard to get to Buffalo with a newborn. Like, traveling for an NFL game in general is hard. It's a commitment on the weekend. And unfortunately, unfortunately, the Bills are doing so well that all of their games are now prime time, meaning they're all at night. Growing up, all of the games were at like 1 p.m. So I can't make it to any of these games because that means staying out where they late, and that's just not something I foresee happening. So a long way for me to say, no, I am not going to see the new Buffalo Bills Stadium, but I am gonna go to see the Bills when they visit the Green Bay Packers. That's happening in December. Big deal at our house, let me tell you. This is our only chance to be a house divided. Once every four years, these two teams match up, and we are so there. My dad's coming up for it. I have some other family coming up. Peter's whole family's going. We're all renting a house. It's gonna be a fight over which team Andy is wearing that day. It's gonna be hilarious. So I'll definitely see the Bills in action, but not at the news stadium. Another question: Do you want more kids? Yes, I do. I've always known I wanted more than one, but one will humble you. Let me tell you. You have one kid in those first few months, you're like, you know what? I I actually think we're good. I'm kind of still in that phase. I know I'm gonna have more, but there's a very large part of me that's like, uh I could be one and done. We could be a beautiful family with one child. We really could. So yeah, I'm not in the phase all my friends tell me that you know you'll know when you want more and you'll know when you're done. And I don't feel like I'm done. So there's that. I don't know how many more I'll have. That's all up to God, really. Let's be real. Uh what's your biggest green flag in a relationship? Oh gosh. Biggest green flag. Oh, you know what? Oh, actually, come to think of this, this is the easiest answer. It's the follow-through. Someone with good follow-through. You say a thing, you do it. Period. End of story. If a guy says, hey, I want to take you out on Wednesday, you bet you bottom dollar, he has a plan come Wednesday. And he told you about it on Tuesday, maybe Monday, maybe Sunday, or the Wednesday before that Wednesday, like a normal person. The hardest thing to find was a guy who would say, I'm gonna take you out on Wednesday, and then would actually communicate with you what the details are for Wednesday before Wednesday. You know what I mean? So yeah, a follow-through. Somebody who actually does what he says he's gonna do. Because for some reason that's really hard to find. I say that all, but I also have another thought about a green flag that's separate from like the dates should be planned and discussed, and there should be follow-through, right? But separately than that, once you're like actually dating, I always looked for someone who could go with the flow and have fun. Like if you wanted to just change all plans and go get ice cream, that they would want to do something like that. But for some reason, I found like guys were sort of rigid or like they didn't want to ease into things like that. I don't know. So that was always a green flag to me as somebody who just could just like change the plans for a fun idea or something. I don't know. Someone who was relaxed around plans. But that's totally personal. I feel like that one really could be not a green flag for some people. I remember going on a date with a guy in New York once, and I'm not a big drinker, so that would make dating sometimes super awkward. I eventually learned like it's so not shameful to order a soda water or a mocktail, and that's what I ended up doing all the time. But I remember meeting up with this guy, and he too didn't drink. And so then it was awkward because we're both like I had already gotten only a soda water, which what costs like $2. And he was gonna do the same thing. And I was like, well, we can't like sit at this bar. So I remember I got a mocktail, um, whatever. I remember at the on the way home, we passed this ice cream shop, and I was like, oh, ooh, let's get ice cream. And he was like, Oh, I can't eat ice cream. And I was like, Oh, why? He didn't want to eat sugar. That was like a few guys, but God, there was another guy where I ordered fries on the date, and he like would not touch my fries. Like he was like, No, I can't, that's gross. I can't eat that. I was like, Can these people just chill out? That's sort of what I meant. Like, some guy, like I I think a green flag is a guy who could just like relax and go with the flow and not be like Mr. Perfect all the time, you know? Like a guy who doesn't eat the fancy reservations and is happy going to the diner for a burger and calling it a night. That's really what I meant by that. Okay, wow. Last question here. Oh my god, this is such a funny one to end on. I want to get into Bravo, but I don't know where to start. Any recommendations? Um, hello. Hi, I'm so happy you called. Ironically, there's so much of Bravo that I don't even watch. But I'm gonna pretend that I watch it all to answer this question. I only got into Bravo a few years ago. And the way I started was this show called Southern Charm. If you're asking this, I have no idea who you are. I don't know how old you are. But I was in my late 20s when I started watching it. And the show Southern Charm is about people in their like 20s and 30s, now 40s, but it's about them like living in Charleston and all sort of dating and hanging out. And it's just a group of friends in Charleston. Sounds strange. You're like, what's the plot? Um, I started watching that from God, I don't even know what season. From earlier seasons, just like pick a season and start watching it early, early on, because a lot of those people are still on the show. Anyways, that was the one that got me into watching Bravo in general. Once I started there, I was like, oh, I get the flow of this. It took me a minute, but the reason I think Southern Charm is a good place to start is because it sort of lays the foundation on what Bravo shows are like without diving headfirst into Housewives. Housewives are daunting. It's like, why are they called that? And who are these people and why are they famous? Most of them aren't even married anymore. So you're like, why am I watching this random group of women? Whereas Southern Charm made sense because it starts with a group of friends. It's just a group of friends in Charleston and it comes off very like Southern soap opera-ish because, you know, they all fight and whatever, but it's funny. Like it's actually really funny. They all are ridiculous and they date, they break up. There's like all these old parties and money culture and these like unspoken social games that they all play because it's the South. And because you're watching people who are roughly the same age as you, if you're in that age group, is weirdly relatable because you're like, oh my God, I remember when I used to um like you see them go on first dates and stuff like that. But if you want to dive headfirst into Housewives, I would start season one, Real Housewives of New York. It's the greatest of all time. The old New York is so funny to watch. It's gonna be very nostalgic and weird, and you're like, what am I watching? And this like bedazzled Upper East Side thing. But I mean, Bethany Frankl's in the teeny tiny apartment. It is really historical to watch. But yeah, depending on what you want, my recommendation Southern Charm or Real Housewives of New York. I could really keep going on this, by the way, because I'm like, oh, if you want to watch Beverly Hills, if you want to see a ton of glitz and glamour and like actually rich people, then start in Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. But don't start till season five, because that's when Lisa Rena comes on. And I really think that's when the series started to get really good. Before that, it's just a lot of crying from people who you never see again. So there's no point. Oh, or you could just do the thing that most of the world does and wait till there's a huge cultural thing that happens, like just what happened on Summer House, and then watch that from the beginning so you're caught up with the world. Vanderpapules. Another example. Okay. I'm gonna cut myself off here because like I sound ridiculous. But thank you guys so much for writing in questions for those who did that. I so appreciate it. I love it so much. I want to hear more from you guys. Like, tell me, tell me more about what's happening in your lives. I I truly always love to hear it, and I'm I'm always here to talk about any silly, serious thing going on. I hope I can help in even the tiniest way. But again, thank you for listening, and I hope everyone has the best week ahead. Talk to you guys soon. Bye for now.